Dear Happy

I read a book a few nights ago. "The Lover's Dictionary" by David Levithan. It was great. Short little novella. I forgot most of the time it was a story, and kept laughing (and sometimes choking up) at the sincerity and portrayal of real relationship life. It made me happy. So, you should read it.

A jingle.

A love letter.

Connection.

Cerebral Swim

Entanglement. Love/hate. Soulmate.

The Pursuit

The only thing I know for sure is that there is something bigger than myself out there. Capable, magnificent, and wonderous. Is it Gaia, God, Mother-earth, collective soul, something else entirely? I don't know.

I don't know who God is or how to find out.

Memories

I'm working on memories right now. Remembering. There's a lot in my life, mostly between 18-22? and the time that I was married that almost feels like it didn't happen. I don't remember much of myself in that time, I don't know what I thought or what I WAS. It creeps me out, makes me feel alzheimers onset-ish. I think most of those memories I just pushed down, repressed, so it's hard to bring them forward again. Not hard in the sense of emotionally, just simply hard to remember because I've forgotten my own memories. I'm going to try to go back and remember things, even childhood memories, etc. Might help me keep figuring out this thing called life a little more.

Content

Probably my favorite thing in the world is a large Panera iced-tea and a Shortbread cookie. Is that sad? lol

Cold Roses

My boy has only been gone to his dads for a few days, and will return in 27 more (sigh) but I'm taking it a lot harder than I thought. I don't know what to call this emotion, depression? grief? but it's something I wasn't prepared for. This is the longest he's went for, so I'm assuming that has a lot to do with it. I'm hoping that a good cry in the shower will do the trick, but in the meantime I'm feeling a little more than fragile. :/

I suck at writing today.