Massive Zen

Today I had a major desire to research Tibet, Buddhism, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, and it got me looking into Buddhist meditations. I've looked a lot into this previous, and Zen, etc etc. I was talking with a friend about some of this, and he knows a woman who is a Buddhist Nun. There again, interconnectiveness, just shows me I'm on the right path.. Anyways, I'm jealous of this person I don't even know. Maybe I should be a Buddhist Nun. Or at least claim this as my label so I can have the worlds permission to think and act the way I want lol. It seems everyone wants to put a label on everything, make a decison, make a choice, KNOW IT ALL. I entirely disagree with this principle. Why not know what you know in the moment, and live your live in present. Reflect on past, look to future, but live in present. I'm all over the place in this post I know, but I'm trying.
I'd like to re-read a few books I have, and a few new ones. Practicing meditations feels like something I need to be doing. I sometimes, all the time, feel that I need to spend the majority of my free time in self-knowledge and awareness. And by doing this, I can serve others better. I'm not sure I'm cut out to be a full partner with someone, the way the world expects it to be. I like to think my purpose is to serve and give love to many people, and what I get back is an added bonus. I don't know. My thoughts are all dashing like waves. Maybe I'll write more later with clarity.

Oh, and interesting concept I don't want to forget. A reviwer's blurb on "How to See yourself as you really Are"- Dalai Lama said the following-
"We are not our body, nor even our mind. if we were we could not say my mind or my body. Then what are we? We are "like" and illusion existing through our 5 aggregates, body, thoughts, feelings, perceptions, and consciousness. No "I" can be located. The closest we can come is understanding that we are consciousness observing the present moment, all else is thought and mental formation. Who we think we really are is just a mental formation we hold in our mind of our beliefs about ourselves our religion, height, weight, name, etc. Enlightenment is simply understanding this and the nature of reality."
I like this. =)